My hamster is dying. Right now, as I type.
When M and I moved into our house we couldn't agree on a pet. I wanted a cat, he wanted a dog. Neither of us would give. We ended up compromising on a hamster.
I felt ridiculous having a hamster as a pet. I mean, it's a kids' pet. Adults don't have hamsters. I felt silly buying him, felt silly telling people we had him.
But, I really, really like him.
He's very cute, and I'm not a cutesy type of person. He's friendly and playful, and highly entertaining. When I was on bedrest last winter I spent hours just watching him putter around his cage. In the weeks after Charlotte's death I spent a lot of time talking to him (questioning my sanity the entire time, of course). He's always made me smile, and that's a rarity lately.
He's old now, over two. His breathing's labored, he isn't eating. The vet gave us some antibiotics for lung congestion with warnings that he could go anytime. I think the time is here.
He hasn't eaten in days. Stopped drinking yesterday. He's barely moving now, curled up into a little furry ball. When I pick him up he's limp, too weak to squirm. His little head just hangs back. His breaths are growing farther apart. His normally busy beating heart is very slow.
I bet you can all see where this is going, right?
Even though he is just a hamster, I am reliving Charlotte's death with every little hamster breath. It's exactly how she died. The movements stopped first, then the breaths grew further apart. Then her heart stopped. Limp. Cold.
Watching anything die is heartbreaking, even if it's just a hamster. It's incomprehensable that 10 months and 2 days ago, it was my baby.
It's bringing back a lot of memories. It's days like today when I can't believe I lived through it.
7 comments:
It IS hard to watch someone you love die and a pet no matter what kind it is is so tough as well because you love him. I am so sorry. ((HUGS))
Oh hun, I am sorry. Hamster or not, this sucks.
xoxo
I'm sorry. :(
I'm sorry. That's so sad.
Heather, I'm so, so sorry. This really sucks.
Oh I am so sorry, I can't imagine. I understand though. I have been petrified and anxious about anything happening to my pets since I lost Evan, the thought alone is enough to make me ill.
It's such a tough road, these things that happen are so much more difficult after you have been through what we have been through.
I'm so sorry to hear about your hamster and the pain it's bringing you. I had hamsters growing up, it's so sad that they have such short lives because we get so attached. He will be missed. Lots of hugs to you.
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