The October babies in my circle are all out, all living, all breathing happy little bundles. All boys.
Thank you God.
There were 4 of them; pregnancies that were gleefully announced before Charlotte was born. All due in October. The final one born yesterday morning.
So, I have one November baby that I'm waiting on, and then it's clear sailing for awhile.
But there may be others- later pregnancies would have been announced post-Charlotte, and I may have been spared the news. As we've been in hibernation mode for months I may not know.
I am just so grateful that they were all boys.
The jealousy is immense, though. Especially when viewing those first happy pictures from the hospital bed- mommy still strapped to the bp cuff, baby still a little pasty. Everyone looking so purely happy. As soon as I see the email birth announcement in my inbox a pit forms in my stomach. The jealousy is all-consuming. I can hardly talk.
Makes me hate myself a little.
So, only one more arrival until my acquaintance circle is finished birthing for awhile. I can do that, I think.
3 comments:
Thank you for posting this. I've been beating myself up a little for hoping that my brother- & sister- in law have a girl, and it helps to know that I'm not alone in this type of feeling.
I always wish for everyone I know to have little boys...I just can't stand to have someone have someone have a living daughter, when I don't.
Also, I am sending you the Angel Mommy Blog award.
Go here to pick it up and post it on your blog.
http://sweetbabywhispers.blogspot.com/2008/10/angel-mommy-blog-award.html
try not to hate yourself too much. Or, just know that you're not alone.
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