Our friends had a girl. 6:30 this morning. Mother and daughter are doing exceptionally well, according to the voicemail left on our machine at 7:00 a.m.
So, after suffering a complete emotional breakdown and having resolved myself to bed for the remainder of the day, I've resolved myself to two choices:
1. Suck it up. Take our time, but eventually go visit and welcome them (and the surrounding circle of friends) as part of our lives. Try not to think that the little girl is a living, breathing, tortuous reminder of what Charlotte should be. Try not to think that the new-parent bliss is what we're supposed to have. Ignore everything pink, refuse to think in "should haves" and "what ifs". Stop cursing the universe for not having given them a boy.
2. Look for new friends.
Not sure yet which option works for me.
36, I should be 36 weeks pregnant today.
3 comments:
here from Glow in the Woods...just wanted to say, i remember this place and how brutally it hurt.
we didn't suck it up OR find new friends, really. i waited a few weeks, and sent a card and a kids' book, and a note that said "i'm happy for you and just not quite able to face new babies right now" and then we hid for awhile longer.
i hope you find whatever path works for you. i hope you are kind to yourself along the way.
Heather,
Thanks for the comment on my blog, I thought I would visit you and say hello. I'm sorry to hear of your loss of Charlotte. I wish I could say it gets easier or something to that effect but we all have to find our own way in this. I remember thinking after Isabella died that I should be 20 weeks, 30 weeks etc. So I know what you mean. I think the biggest issue is that people expect us to just get on with our lives and act like "normal". It completely defeats the purpose to have to tell them to treat you differently or ask about your baby. That you're sad no matter what and talking about it won't make you any sadder. But I guess that's just what has to be done.
I'm glad you stopped by, keep in touch and keep writing your blog, I'll be reading.
-Shannon
I became a recluse. I sent a congrats, but otherwise ignored it. We do what we have to do to survive. It is about self preservation at times.
Hang in there hun.
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