Charlotte's Story

My pregnancy started off beautifully. My husband M and I were married in July 2007, and were thrilled in November to find out we were expecting our first child. We were cautious at first, like many couples, and waited to share our good news until the end of the first trimester. I was doing great, no morning sickness or anything, and everything was looking good.

At my 14-week doctor's appointment in January we found my blood pressure, which had never been an issue before, had risen to dangerous levels (about 170/110 at that point). I was put on modified bedrest, referred to specialists, and watched very closely from that point forward. I was given substantial doses of several blood pressure medications, and the blood pressure was stabilized. Our doctors thought we were doing fine. We did too.

Towards the end of March my blood pressure began to creep up. The doctors upped my medications. The numbers continued to climb; the medications weren't effective anymore. After several consecutive appointments with high readings, I was sent to our hospital to be evaluated on Saturday, March 29th. I was quickly admitted for observation, and the blood pressure continued to stay high. I was almost 24 weeks along at this point.

We had a routine ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday April 1st, so it was convenient I was already in the hospital. The news wasn't what we were expecting. Baby's growth was stalled. We were measuring 21 weeks instead of 24. The amniotic fluid was also low. I was immediately put on hospital bedrest for the remainder of the pregnancy. The high blood pressure was restricting the amount of flow through the cord and we were in "absent flow". The doctors said it would only be a matter of time before it turned to reverse flow and we would have to deliver. We prayed that baby, who was currently being estimated at 430 grams, would grow enough to survive before that happened. We were heartbroken at the possibility that baby wouldn't be healthy or worse yet, wouldn't survive.

On April 4th we had another biophysical and baby was doing fine; the blood flow was no worse and we were hoping for growth. That morning, there was a different vibe in my hospital room; there were more doctors, interns and med students hovering around than usual, and there was a buzz in the air. I knew something was wrong. I remember sitting in my wheelchair waiting for my biophysical and telling my sister They're going to tell me something really bad, I just know it. Immediately following the ultrasound our MFM came in to chat. She sat down beside me and held my hand, and told us my morning blood work had determined I had developed HELLP syndrome. My blood pressure was out of control, my platelets were in the 50s, and liver enzymes were off the charts. I had no physical symptoms, except some epigastric pain the previous night that was remedied by Tylenol. I was shocked. We were taken directly to delivery.

As we navigated the hallways and elevators, I was in shock. M held my hand and I just stared into space. I remember going by triage hearing heart rate monitors of mommies in the early stages of labor. I was directed to Birthing Room 7, behind the nurse's station and out of the way from the other rooms. They were waiting for us. I was immediately hooked up to mag sulfate among other things. My blood pressure reached 225/122 and they thought I would seize any second. An art line was put in. The epidural was installed before the platelets crashed further, although it took several tries because I was bleeding too much. Our minister arrived. My sister had arrived the previous night so she was with me. My husband called our immediate families.

The neonatal team came in to discuss baby's chances. At 430 grams, we were given a 17% chance of survival. We were praying for a miracle. 24 weeks and 4 days put us over the 24-week hurdle, but the IUGR put us right back down.

At about 5:00 I was wheeled in for surgery. I don't remember much. M came in when he was allowed. I could feel pressure and pulling, no pain, and my eyes drifted shut for most of the surgery. Baby Charlotte was born at 5:22 p.m., there were no baby sounds of course, no announcement of It's a Girl. I had no idea of the baby's gender until I was alert enough that I asked the anasthesiologist. I had no concept of what was going on around me. My husband left with Charlotte and the neonatal team. She was weighed and evaluated. She was only 380 grams, well under the estimate. There was nothing the neonatal team could do with a baby that small.

By 6:30 I was back in my room and M and the team of doctors and nurses came back with Charlotte. I was trying my best to stay awake under the medications, and she was placed on my chest. She was so little; 11 inches long. Her little face was so sweet- perfect little nose, "my" mouth according to my husband, and beautiful little hands and feet. Her little heart was still beating but there were no other signs of life. M later told me that while I was in surgery she did make movements and gasped little "hiccups" as he called them. I didn't get to see that, but she was just beautiful. We held her and talked to her and cuddled her as long as I could stay awake. She was pronounced dead at 7:32pm, although I think she was gone before that.

I loved her so dearly, so instantly, I cannot even begin to imagine the pure bliss of giving birth to a healthy baby you get to bring home.