TGIM

This was the most frustrating weekend. I thought it would never end.

I get in these moods sometimes where I just can't sit still (considering I'm supposed to be lying/sitting, this is a not a good mood to be in). I wander from room to room of my house and can't settle. My mind goes a million miles and I can't make it stop. I get very frustrated at the littlest things and I snap at everyone/everything in my way. It was one of those moods this weekend. Plus, it was very hot and humid, and I just couldn't get comfortable.

Since I'm not allowed to go anywhere, people have been coming to visit me. Although I do appreciate this very much, and it breaks up my days, sometimes I'm not in the mood for visitors. Although no one expects me to be hosting and pouring drinks, etc., I am expected to carry on a conversation. Depending on the visitor I may or may not be in the mood. The only bad thing about having people visit is that it's hard to get them to leave when I'm tired of visiting. There were a lot of visitors this weekend, and I was not feeling social.

Our shadow baby visited again, twice actually, on Friday and then again on Saturday. Friday wasn't too bad. As I've written before, I just can't imagine Charlotte at that age. The little one is almost walking now, and is so, so happy. She never fusses or cries, and according to her mama sleeps 11 hours straight at night. I'm sure I wouldn't have been so lucky. Saturday's visit was a little more tense, as MIL was also visiting (dear god) and was oohing and ahhing over shadow baby, and that made me uncomfortable for some reason. My frustration was also probably in part (large part) to the fact that I had just spent another half an hour explaining, again, to MIL that you can't cure growth restriction by chomping down more calories. She's been scouring the internet, but being of the generation that can't tell junk mail from real email, and banner ads from an actual website, who knows what she's actually reading. Plus she misinterprets a lot. Basically clueless on all accounts. I gave her the addresses of a couple of reputable websites, but considering the level of medical jargon there is quite high, I'm not holding out much hope for any significant comprehension on her behalf. Anyway, the conversation went something like this, for your daily humor installment:

MIL: So, I was looking up growth restriction on the internet....
Me: (thinks, oh no)
MIL: And it said all you need to do is eat more.
Me: Um, no. I eat lots. I think that's only true for growth restriction caused by malnutrition. I am definitely not malnourished.
MIL: Well, it said you need to eat more.
Me: I've already gained way too much weight this pregnancy. I DEFINITELY am eating enough.
MIL: You need to eat more red meat.
Me: What?
MIL: Your iron is low. That's why the baby's not growing.
Me: I asked all my doctors about that. It's irrelevant.
MIL: You need to ask your doctors for iron shots. That will fix everything. That will fix your blood pressure too.
Me: Um, no it won't. (I was getting very annoyed by now.)
MIL: Well, when I was pregnant with M my doctor always said..... (blah blah blah)
Me: They've learned a lot in the past 30 years.

And on, and on, and on.....

Somehow my bp stayed stable all weekend. I have no idea how, as I had smoke fuming from my ears most of the time.

I told M to stop inviting his parents up to visit. He can go see them if he wants, but I need a break from the ILs before I lose my mind. I was approaching violence over the weekend, I really was.

Another BPP on Wednesday. I know we'll check bloodflow but I'm not sure if we measure this time; I know their policy is to only do measurements every two weeks. Dr ObGYN wasn't surprised to hear the results at this morning's appt. She figured with my history it would only be a matter of time before growth would slow. There's still a chance that it was a glitch, and that bumblebee's in there now having a big growth spurt to catch up. Only time will tell.

***

Lovely nurse was here on Sunday to do a NST. We had to wake up the Bee 20 mins in with some juice and tummy jiggling, but he passed after that. She was chatting away during the test, as she always does, and she said,

After you deliver you'll have these gas movements and you'll think it's the baby kicking and then you'll see the bassinet next to your bed and remember, oh yeah! I already had the baby.

I couldn't tell her I knew exactly the feeling, and that it's so much worse when for a second you think you're still pregnant and then you remember your baby is dead. I'm sure you all know the feeling.